Why Did the animals Cross the roads?

(Appetizer of the day: animal jokes .... enjoy...)  PART 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?                       Don't ask us, ask the chicken!  Why did the sheep cross the road?  To get to the Baa Baa Shop for a haircut.  Why did the cow cross the road?  To get to the udder side.  Why did the fish cross the river?  To get to its school  Why did the fish cross the sea?  To get to the other tide!  Why did the one-handed skeleton cross the road?  To get to the second-hand shop!  Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?  Because he had no body to go with.  Why did the horse cross the road?  To reach  his Nay-borhood.  Why did the rooster cross the road?  To prove he wasn't a chicken  Why did the turtle cross the road?   To get to the Shell Station   Why did the chicken stop crossing the road ?   It got tired of everyone making so many jokes !!!.  PART II: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROADS??

Barack Obama: 

Today we're asking: "Why is THAT chicken crossing the road, and not you? Can we CHANGE that chicken that's crossing the road? YES WE CAN!


Mel Gibson : 
Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??

PLATO: 
For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: 
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: 
It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: 
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

JACK NICHOLSON: 
'cause it #!&%! wanted to! That's the #!&%! reason!

RONALD REAGAN: 
I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: 
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: 
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Jessica Simpson : 
Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?


Bill Cosby : 
Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops.


Snoop Dogg : 
This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: 
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road. "And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: 
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: 
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road!

Shakespeare : 
To cross or not to cross, that is the question. 

BILL GATES: 
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: 
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
 
BUDDHA: 
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.  
 

George Bush : 
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore : 
Iinvented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.


saddam Hussein : 
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. 

Bill Clinton : 
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?  
 
 

PART III:

THIS IS INDONESIAN VERSION :)

MENGAPA AYAM NYEBRANG JALAN???

 Mengapa Ayam Nyebrang Jalan? 
Pembaca yang budiman...inilah Investigasi versi mungil (sambil melotot kek pembawa acara gosip selebriti...)


Guru TK:

Supaya sampai ke ujung jalan.

FBI:

Beri saya lima menit dengan ayam itu, saya akan tahu kenapa.

Aristoteles:
Karena merupakan sifat alami dari ayam.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:

Saya memimpikan suatu dunia yang membebaskan semua ayam menyeberang jalan tanpa mempertanyakan kenapa.

Freud:
Fakta bahwa kalian semua begitu peduli pada alasan ayam itu menunjukkan ketidaknyamanan seksual kalian yang tersembunyi.

George W Bush:

Kami tidak peduli kenapa ayam itu menyeberang! Kami cuma ingin tau apakah ayam itu ada di pihak kami atau tidak, apa dia bersama kami atau melawan kami. Tidak ada pihak tengah di sini!

Darwin:
Ayam telah melalui periode waktu yang luar biasa, telah melalui seleksi alam dengan cara tertentu dan secara alami tereliminasi dengan menyeberang jalan.

Einstein:
Apakah ayam itu menyeberang jalan atau jalan yang bergerak di bawah ayam itu, itu semua tergantung pada sudut pandang kita sendiri.

Nelson Mandela:

Tidak akan pernah lagi ayam ditanyai kenapa menyeberang jalan! Dia adalah panutan yang akan saya bela sampai mati!

Thabo Mbeki:

Kita harus mencari tahu apakah memang benar ada kolerasi antara ayam dan jalan.

Isaac Newton:

Semua ayam di bumi ini kan menyeberang jalan secara tegak lurus dalam garis lurus yang tidak terbatas dalam kecepatan yang seragam, terkecuali jika ayam berhenti karena ada reaksi yang tidak seimbang dari arah berlawanan.

Programmer Oracle:

Tidak semua ayam dapat menyeberang jalan, maka dari itu perlu adanya interface untuk ayam yaitu nyeberangable, ayam-ayam yang ingin atau bisa menyeberang diharuskan untuk mengimplementasikan nya jadi di sini sudah jelas terlihat bahwa antara ayam dengan jalan sudah loosely coupled.

Sutiyoso:
Itu ayam pasti ingin naik busway.

Soeharto:
Ayam-ayam mana yang ndak nyebrang, tak gebuk semua! Kalo perlu ya dikebumiken saja.

Habibie:
Ayam menyeberang dikarenakan ada daya tarik gravitasi, dimana terjadi percepatan yang mengakibatkan sang ayam mengikuti rotasi dan berpindah ke seberang jalan.

Ariel:

Karena ingin menghapus jejakmu

Nia Dinata:

Pasti mau casting ’30 Hari Mencari Ayam’ ya?

Desi Ratnasari:

No comment!

Dhani Ahmad:

Asal ayam itu mau poligami, saya rasa gak ada masalah mau nyebrang kemana juga…

Cinta Laura:

Ayam nyebrang jhalaan..? Karena gak ada owject…beicheeck. …

Julia Perez:

Memangnya kenapa kalo ayam itu menyeberang jalan? Karena sang jantan ada di sana !Daripada sang betina sendirian di seberang sini, yaaahhhh dia kesana
laahh…Cape khan pake alat bantu terus?

Roy Marten:

Ayam itu khan hanya binatang biasa, pasti bisa khilaf… (sambil sesenggukan) .

Butet Kartaredjasa:

Lha ya jelas untuk menghindari grebekan kamtib to?

Roy Suryo:

Ini rekayasa, kalau saya teliti dari metadata ayam tersebut bahwa ayam itu telah mengalami modifikasi sedemikian rupa sehingga jadilah dalam tanda kutip ayam yang sempurna. Jadi bahwa ayam ini adalah rekayasa adalah benar bahwa 100% ini adalah rekayasa. (ribet ngomongnya sambil matanya jelalatan)

KAPTEN JAMES T.KIRK : 
karena dia ingin pergi ke tempat yang belum pernah ia datangi.

MACHIAV ELLI : 
poin pentingnya adalah ayam menyeberang jalan!siapa yang peduli kenapa! akhir dari penyeberangan akan menentukan motivasi ayam itu.


Sutiyoso:
 itu ayam pasti ingin naik busway.

Desi Ratnasari: 
No Comment


Roy Marten: 
 Ayam itu khan hanya binatang biasa, pasti bisa khilaf.. (plus nangis dikit).

Gus Dur:  
Kenapa ayam nyebrang jalan? Ngapain dipikirin! Gitu aja kok repot!
Bukannya kerja tapi malah baca jokes...