Devastating
I do.....loved you with everything I had for more than five years? and now I just can’t seem to shake the residual feelings. Mom just texted me asking how well have I been.,,,she might have a mother intuition somewhere there. Mommmmy....Im tired of crying, not sure if it’s even possible to stop loving someone after it ends, when you loved them so much for so long. There is.....some moment when I think back and smile fondly of the memories of our sacred places. I grew up with you, going through the times and troubles of early 20s life...
Mom, I never knew if I loved him so much back then as I chose to believe him till the end and lived under his shadow. Which either way, it just completely shattered me, and which I came to realize was for the best. He just turned me down,...I would, you know...if he able to take me for granted...I would left all things behind! But he seems absolutely has no balls for his words other than give it all up. Thanks to him Mom.... I know exactly where I’m going to be and I will do everything I can to get there. I’d already tried to leave you because I knew you weren’t going anywhere and you were dragging me down, but my feelings kept me there. You did what I knew I needed to do, but couldn’t bear to do. Yet somehow after year has passed I still miss you, I still miss what we had, and I get that pit in my chess when I remembered things... It makes me sick to think that I cant even put my thoughts down and Im helplessly cry every time I think about how I lost someone I loved so much. Yet you know what...... I don’t want you back. And I have to thank you - I’ll never waste another 5 years of my life so stupidly again.
Dear Mom, can I hope that it was as easy to stop loving him as it was to fall for him?
Forgive me Mom, for abandoning your words and thought....
I wish nothing but to have God hear your pray ***
Your loving Daughter
Thats exactly how i feel too, it called memory,
ReplyDelete“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”
God will not always give what we want but He always give what we need, time will heal it...
“Living under a cloud of black...udder a single word and watch the lightning strike...feel the roar of the thunder. Periods of calm are like tears dripping from a rainbow...and life goes on.”
thumbs for nice writing!
Lieverrrrdd....yeaaa you r so right. Im trying to pulling myself back. thanks for your deary thought! as always xx
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